the B-list

Alright, in an attempt to shake things up a bit and keep it interesting, I found this 30 day music challenge on tumblr, (http://mkmcanin.tumblr.com), and thought I'd give it a whirl. 

I'm going to try not to repeat any songs from the soundtrack post I did in April. 

Here's the list:

1. A song you like with a colour in the title

2. A song you like with a number in the title

3. A song that reminds you of summertime

4. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

5. A song that needs to be played LOUD

6. A song that makes you want to dance

7. A song to drive to

8. A song about drugs or alcohol

9. A song that makes you happy

10. A song that makes you sad

11. A song that you never get tired of

12. A song from your preteen years

13. One of your favourite 80’s songs

14. A song that you would love played at your wedding

15. A song that has been covered by another artist

16. One of your favourite classical songs

17. A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

18. A song from before you were born

19. A song that makes you think about life

20. A song that has many meanings to you

21. A favourite song with a person’s name in the title

22. A song that moves you forward

23. A song that you think everybody should listen to

24. A song by a band you wish were still together

25. A song by an artist no longer living

26. A song that makes you want to fall in love

27. A song that breaks your heart

28. A song by an artist with a voice that you love

29. A song that you remember from your childhood

30. A song that reminds you of yourself

So, since I started this on my tumblr yesterday, you'll get them both today.  

So, for number 1: 

Dark Blue--Jack's Mannequin

This night's a perfect shade of dark blue, dark blue. Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? When I'm here with you, I said the world could be burning down. 

aaaaaaaand for number 2: 

9 Crimes--Damien Rice

Leave me out with the waste; this is not what I do. It's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you. It's the wrong time for somebody new. It's a small crime, and I've got no excuse.

This song is amazing. There really isn't much more to say. 

So, there were three other contenders for this one, so I think in the future I'll have a "number in the title" themed post. Runners up: 23--Jimmy Eat World (I already posted about this one), 3rd Planet--Modest Mouse, 33--Coheed and Cambria

I give my gun away when it's loaded. If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it?

Is that alright, is that alright, is that alright with you?

No...

tears and rain

Bittersweet memories, that is all I'm taking with me...

I was in the shower, listening to Left and Leaving by The Weakerthans, when all of the air in my lungs decided to disappear. I was having an anxiety or panic attack, what have you, (something I haven't experienced since my sophomore year of college when physics didn't make any sense to me).

One minute I was shampooing my hair, the next I was gasping for air.

Then I was sobbing uncontrollably. Why you may ask? Guilt. Overwhelming and paralyzing guilt.

Wait for the year to drown, spring forward and fall back down. I'm trying not to wonder where you are.

Those words played over the speakers and I couldn't breathe anymore. My choices fully caught up with me in that moment and I felt sorry, so incredibly sorry. And awful. And wretched. And I felt all the pain that I must have caused you. And it swallowed me and I just collapsed in a breathless heap of shame.

And I'm still driving away, and I'm sorry everyday.

I was cold. I was terrified. I was selfish

It wasn't intended. It wasn't easy. It wasn't fair.

And I am so very sorry. You were the last person to deserve what I did. There are so many things I wish I'd done differently. I shouldn't have shut you out. I shouldn't have let it get as far as it did. But as I established in my previous post, I'm a coward, not half as strong as I'm always pretending to be. You already knew that didn't you? You were singing that lyric to me that day, weren't you?

If you're as tough as your defenses, then let them fall.

I'm not tough, and I'm not strong. I miss you everyday, but I still stand by my decision. Just know that when I think about everything I put you through, the sadness cripples me. I wish I could have made it hurt less or not at all, but I can't change the past. I punish myself for it daily, and the only thing I can say is 'I'm sorry.' And I am, times a thousand, times a million.

'Cause you're afraid to find out all the hope you had sent into the sky by now had crashed, and it did, because of me.

I hate the person I was and somedays I still I am, this monster I feel like I've become.  And I hope you find someone worthy of your love, which I was not. I wish you all of the happiness in the world, even if some days, it costs me my own.

I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this, like every inch of me is bruised

andrew mcmahon is a friend of mine

But who am I to argue fate, and who are you to walk away? I'm standing here with nothing left to prove. 

I live in a fantasy world where Oreos are nutritious, new Harry Potter books come out every year, and every guy is some version of Andrew McMahon. Whether you know him from Something Corporate or from Jack's Mannequin, it matters not. To me, the way and what he sings about women and relationships is both genuine and heartfelt. It makes my knees weak.

Where are you now? As I'm swimming through the stereo, I'm writing you a symphony of sound. Where are you now? As I rearrange the songs again, this mix could burn a hole in anyone, but it was you I was thinking of.


Yes, please. What mold were you made from Mr. McMahon, and are there others? Do you know where I could find one?

Slow down...this night's a perfect shade of dark blue, dark blue. Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? When I'm here with you, I said the world could be burning down...


Even when's he breaking up with someone, it's graceful.

Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes that I am not there. I swear I didn't mean for it to feel like this, like every inch of me is bruised.


What's even more amazing, is that when you see him live, his energy is out of this world. I've seen Jack's Mannequin three times, (which seems to be a trend for me--threes), and with every show, my respect for him as an artist, (and person), grows. He is a cancer survivor, so while in Memphis, he visited St. Jude before the show, and then dedicated Swim to the patients there. I was covered in goosebumps.

You've got to swim. Don't let yourself sink. Just find the horizon; I promise you it's not as far as you think. 

I actually got to meet him, get an autograph, and chat with him after the show. He's so unbelievably nice; he met with fans for what seemed like hours. This makes me believe in his lyrics even more than I already did.

I am only going to give you one more lyric, though I have so many I want to share. I haven't even posted anything from Something Corporate, but you should check out them and Jack's Mannequin as well, if you're not already familiar. You need to become familiar.

As long as your heart's beating, it should never beat alone. No man is an island when a woman is his home.


He really should teach a class or something. It gives me hope that there are guys out there that can love a girl this way.






Other songs to check out: Hammers and Strings (A Lullaby), Konstantine, Only Ashes, The Resolution, MFEO PT. 1 and 2, Holiday from Real, Caves.