I had a completely different post planned for tonight, but I'm not quite ready to share that one with the world. I shared it with the one person that needed to read it the most, so for now, that is enough for me.
So instead, I'm going to let the Lumineers speak for me.
She'll lie and steal and cheat
And beg you from her knees,
Make you think she means it this time.
She'll tear a hole in you,
The one you can't repair,
But I still love her,
I don't really care.
It took all of 30 seconds to decide this would be my favorite song of theirs
It's better to feel pain,
Than nothing at all.
The opposite of love's indifference.
I am so in love with that line, it's unreal.
So pay attention now,
I'm standing your porch, screaming out
And I won't leave until you come downstairs
Pay attention now. I'm screaming for you to hear me out, so I can tell you all of the things I've never had the guts to say, (And I guess by blogging about it passive aggressively, I'm still don't have any). I need you to listen, really listen. I need you to listen and understand, so I can let it all go.
I don't blame you, dear,
for running like you did all these years.
I would do the same, you best believe.
And I really would. You need to know that you're important to me, and you always will be. And that I don't blame you. For anything.
But as soon as I press post, all of the memories will remain, but the weight of it all will be gone. It took me so much longer than I wanted, than I pretended, but I think it's time. Finally. After this posts, we're on the same playing field. And maybe we can start a different book instead of a new chapter. And maybe not; that's okay too. I did what I needed to do, said what I needed to say, (both through my own words and others), and now I can breathe a tiny bit easier.
...because you and I, we were born to die
No comments:
Post a Comment