godspeed, sweet dreams

It was just a week ago that I wrote about death. Seven days later, and here I am, one loved one less. And the same thing I said then stands true now:

You'll close your eyes and see me; a little death makes life more meaningful.

As always, I reach for a song to emulate whatever I'm feeling, and right now, I'm heartbroken, just simply heartbroken.

I don't want you to cry and weep, oh. I want you to go on living your life. I'm not sleeping an endless sleep, oh, because in your heart you have all of our good times.


She was so sick, and now I know she's not, so I don't want to be so selfish as to say I wish she was still with us. I just didn't even get to say goodbye. I didn't get to tell her what an outstanding lady she is, and how much I really love her, (though I know she knows).

And all my love will fly to you each night, on angels' wings...

I mean, how freaking precious is that? (This was about a year ago with my baby cousin, Avery.)

But time makes you bolder, children get older, and I'm getting older too...


My aunt threw together a surprise party for her birthday a few weeks ago, and when we all walked in, singing happy birthday, she cried the happiest tears I've ever seen. When I left, I kissed her forehead, and told her I loved her so much. She squeezed my arm with what little strength she had left, and told me she loved me too.  That's a memory I'll keep forever.

Call your mom and/or your dad, hug your sibling, text your best friend. Let the people you love know you love them, even if you both know you do. I always tell my family this when I finish any conversation. I hug and kiss every last person before I leave. You should too.

Grandmother, I miss you already. You are the kindest, most loving lady I've ever met, and you continually tell me how proud I make you. And it always means the most when you say it. I love you so much, and I am trying to keep my chin up; I know you're so much better off now.

On sleepless roads, the sleepless go. May angels lead you in.