The Past: I feel like I'm always running from it, and at the same time, repeating so many of its mistakes. Listening to this song, I thought, well what if I stopped running? What if I just let it be a part of who I am now? What if I put down all of my weapons, shame, animosity, what have you, and just let it, well, be. I can't erase it. I can't change it. Leaving it behind is not an option, because it's a part of me now.
But tonight, I'm going to bury that horse in the ground
So, instead of using my energy to fight the past and who I was, I am going to use what I've learned and lost to shape who it is I want to be.
I have a great job lined up, a great apartment lined up, a great new life just within my grasp, and it's time that I restarted, (or at least moved forward). Is it going to be easy? Absolutely not, but it's necessary.
And given half the chance would I take any of it back. It's a fine romance, but it's left me so undone. It's always darkest before the dawn.
I don't want to take any of it back. Regrets are not something I want to be burdened with. Did I make some bad choices? Of course, we all do, but I also made some good choices. I was loved, and I loved someone. And if you've ever seen Moulin Rouge, then you know that's the greatest of life's lessons.
And I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't, so here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my rope. And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope. It's a shot in the dark, aimed right at my throat.
I'm ready to let it go, but not forget; to let it be a part of me, but not control me. I am looking forward to the future, and I'm optimistic. I'm going to be okay; I just need to shake it out.
And it's hard to dance with devil on your back, so shake him off, shake him off.
You really get me, Flo. See you in a few weeks.
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